I've been writing blog posts in my head again.
It's been awhile since that has happened. In fact, I can't remember the last time my mind has written a blog post before I even turned on my computer.
I use to do it all the time. I would wake up with the words just pouring out of my brain. Images of what I wanted to say, how I wanted to say it, pictures that could go with it, were all there, just waiting for my fingers to type it out.
Blog posting was another casualty of my anxiety, I think. I started to worry over how the words went together instead of just allowing it to flow out and work it over later. I worried over if I was saying it "right" instead of having my own voice. I felt pressured to be.... something other than what I was being, which stifled my thoughts and my creativity. I'm not listening to those thoughts anymore.
I recently went to a Relief Society weekday meeting (formerly enrichment meeting), where we discussed using planners and making the most of your day using organization. I started thinking about when I was in the thick of family raising and didn't have much time. Always on my list was the usual things like laundry, dishes, dinner, etc. But I would add 5 more goals on my to-do list for each day; the acronym I used was C-H-A-P-S.
The "C" stood for children. I would try to do something extra for one of my kids each day. Sometimes, it was go to their game, and sometimes it was more, but I tried to give a little extra attention to one child each day.
The "H" stood for house. I picked up an extra chore each day beyond the normal day to day routine.
The "A" stood for art. Really it stood for creative. The drive to create for me is very strong and when I don't create for a few days, I start to feel antsy and out of sorts.
The "P" stood for personal. Just a little me time, reading, taking a bath, having a cup of hot chocolate, talking to my sister on the phone.
The "S" stood for spiritual. Spending time reading scriptures, being active in my calling, or rendering service. Something to remind me of my membership in the gospel.
I want to talk about that "A". Because of the cramped quarters we've always lived in, being crafty was sometimes impossible. So often my creativity came in the form of my writing, in journals, and later in my blog. Words are friends to me, and as they came out in my writing, I would feel like I was seeing old friends again. I miss that. I want it back. I miss having descriptions of the my life come alive on paper... or on a screen. ;)
So here's to blog writing again, getting some of these words out of my dreams and onto paper, and having a say in my own words.