Do you ever feel like there is just too many thoughts in your head at once, and that's why you just can't remember anything? No. Just me.
Well, I like to use Wednesdays to get all those thoughts out of my head that aren't really good enough or long enough for a whole blog post, but that just won't go away. So that's what you can look forward to on Wednesdays. You are warned.
:: One of the things I have found with my anxiety is that the stricter the schedule I keep, the more I can function within my anxiety or even the more I can keep it at bay. I feel like that is why I seem to have more episodes of total dysfunction during the summer, because those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer are completely unstructured, which is what my little heart loves, but my mental health can't abide. Stupid mental health. As we've been getting back into school, dance and drill, and music lessons, the schedule has been getting tighter and tighter, but still my days were pretty loose, while everyone is gone. This week, I decided to be super tight with my time, scheduling all activities (making dinner, exercise, homework, even showering!) to make sure they all had their allotted time during the day. We are only three days in but my life is feeling more settled and so consequently, I'm not feeling as paralyzed as I have in recent weeks. It's a good feeling and I'm hoping it stays around. The problem I have to guard against is trying to schedule Terry and Tessa's time as well. They don't take kindly to it; unless I'm scheduling golf time for Terry in which case he is all for it.
:: With my strict schedule, I have been enjoying my walking so much more! Knowing that the time schedule is put away specifically for exercise frees me from feeling like I should be doing something else, because those other things have a time scheduled for them also. Amazing! I used to walk/run with my Very Good Friend, Christina. But.... schedules got in the way and now I walk by myself and I need distraction so I listen to Harry Potter books on my iPod. I finished Book 1 today. This is my third time through the books, and I will probably listen to them until I can't hear anymore. I love the Wizarding World. I listen to Harry Potter instead of something else, say conference talks, because my mind tends to wander while I'm listening, but I've heard/read these books so often, that I don't miss anything. But with a conference talk or something else, I would feel like I missed something and having to mess with my iPod to go back to hear what I missed is too much for me when I'm walking. I have to concentrate on just keeping moving, right? Just keep moving.
:: Speaking of Harry Potter, I was thinking of all the things I love about book 1, The Sorcerer's Stone. Here are some of my favorite quotes:
When Harry is looking in the Mirror of Erised and Dumbledore says to him, "It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live, remember that." Such good advice
Harry, Hermione, and Ron have gone through the trap door and they are bound by the plant, Devil's Snare and Hermione needs to make a fire, but she says she doesn't have any wood. Then Ron yells, "Have you gone mad? Are you a witch or not?" That's supposed to be in all caps because Ron is bellowing, but you get the point. I snigger every time at that. I did today again when I was listening to it.... ;)
Harry and Dumbledore are talking about the Stone, that it has been destroyed. First, Dumbledore says, "After all, to a well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure." Yes. Death is the next great adventure. I agree with that. And then he says, "....the trouble is, humans do have a knack of choosing precisely those things that are worst for them." Again, yes. Yes, we do.
Lastly, Harry and Dumbledore are talking about Voldemort, and Harry shies away from saying his name. Dumbledore says, "Always use the proper name for things. Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself." This reminds me of when we don't call hard or tough things by what they really are, but try to couch it in a nicer, softer tone. Sometimes, a spade is just a spade.
:: Well, that's enough brain emptying for today. Until next Wednesday,