Pyles of Clutter

Sabbath Meanderings

Honestly, I just typed up a whole post on my phone, because my computer is trashed, and then when I published it, it was half gone. SO embarrassing. I totally stoled Terry's computer to do this post now. Because I'm trying pretty hard to blog *most* days to record my life, things that I don't put in my journals.

So here we go.

Because our ward now meets at 9:00, I can go to singles ward with Terry. Even though I sit in the congregation and he sits on the stand, I love to make eye contact with him, and give him the little hi sign. I'm just weird like that.

In our ward, the speakers talked about how getting close to our Heavenly Father is our choice and if we choose to be close to Him, we can use His power for our good. The speaker related an experience she had in the ocean, where she kept fighting the waves, and was caught in the current taking her out in the ocean. She said that as soon as she quit fighting the waves, and started using their power, she was able to get to shore. That really resonanted with me, and I could see how I fight against the current and don't use the power that I have at my disposal. Something to think about.

The next speaker then talked about how to stay close to our Heavenly Father so that we can access His power. It's easy to do, personal prayer, personal scripture study, family prayer, family scripture study. If you do those things, then the gift of the Holy Ghost can be with you, and you can use the power from on high.

And in that vein, I have to confess that I didn't do very well on my goals this week. I didn't read as much as I should have, but I did do better with saying prayers. I say family prayer with Zoey before she leaves for drill, but sometimes, I forget to say family prayer with Tessa before she leaves for school, being busy with my own stuff by then. So I did what I always do when I want something to happen, I tell Tess. I told her to remind me to say family prayer and so she starts reminding me the minute I wake her up. Right now, I wait a little bit before we say prayers, but unless I want to go crazy, I'll have to move that to when she gets up in the morning.

So here's to next week, and doing better on my goals.

Until then,

Love,

me.

Sabbath Meanderings

Christmas Day on Sunday, New Year's Day on Sunday, I love it!  It just seems right to have these two holidays on a day that starts a week, and that is set aside to worship Christ.  Awesome.

Downside:  Church for us this year starts at 9:00.  That comes so early after you were up all night with partying kids, and children coming home late.  So. Hard.  But after we got there, it was a great testimony meeting, and I felt so peaceful.  That isn't something I've felt in many weeks.  ;) 

I particularly loved our relief society lesson that was about making our lives "something better".  I loved that I was challenged not to be the greatest person there ever was, but just to be something better than I was last year.  You know what, I think I can do that.

I have a few things I want to work on specifically this year.  Most of my goals all pertain to my spiritual growth.  I feel like I'm really lacking there.  So these are a few of my goals:

*I want to read my Book of Mormon all the way through twice.  First, I'm reading it in a six week period.  My friend did that and said she saw it in a whole new light, more like a story.  I felt like that might be a good way to jump start my scripture reading for the year.  Then I will go back to studying it a chapter at a time.  That's my goal.

*I'm going to get my Young Women's Personal Progress medallion.  Again.  I did this when I was a teenager, but the program has changed quite a bit, so I think I'll go through it again.  First, I've got to get a book and make some kind of schedule.  But my plan is to finish it in a year.  Lofty goal.  I'll update you as I go. 

And with that, I better get moving!

See you tomorrow,

Me.

Sunday Thoughts

Today was just a day at church.  It wasn't overly spiritual.  The talks weren't overly great.  The lessons weren't absolutely amazing.  It was a normal church day.  But I loved it anyway.  Here are some funny things about my ward/church.

We have sat in the same pew at church forever.  I can't even tell you for how many years, but I can remember sitting there when Megan was blessed so for at least 17 years.  It used to be that Terry would have meetings early and then he would just go in and save our spot, while me and the kids hustled in right before (or right after) the opening song was sung.  But now, Terry doesn't even go to church with me and so it's up to the kids and I to get there early enough to get the bench.  At one point, I told the girls that we had to move on, let another family have the bench, and we could sit somewhere else that was smaller, since we've shrunk in size.  But when we tried that, the girls were totally freaking out, especially Tessa who cried that someone was in our seat.  Seriously?  We moved back the next week.  It just isn't worth it yet.  But when it's just Tessa and I, weren't aren't sitting in the big long bench.  WE aren't!

Our Sunday School class has a class president and that is Clark Perrins.  Clark is a 20-something year old man, who has Down's Syndrome.  He takes his calling very seriously, and almost every Sunday, he comes after Sacrament Meeting and tells me it's time to go to class and they don't want to wait for me this time.  In my defense, I'm often doing relief society stuff, but that's no excuse!  I'm holding up the class if I don't get in there, according to Clark.  I think it's funny, and makes me feel needed.  Thanks Clark!  (He is also my biggest commenter, and Terry's biggest texter!)

I think that the women of Relief Society take it way too seriously, and so I've been known to crack a joke or two.  Just saying.

Don't you hate it when you have a lesson and you know that it's been implemented, either by the Spirit of the Lord, or by the bishop, for someone specific, and that person doesn't get it?  Argh.  What do you do then?  Just love 'em, I guess.

We only have two priests right now in our ward.  Yep, that's right, only two.  But we have two nurseries, each with about 15 or so kids in them.  We are a little bottom heavy in the kids department.  But I love that every Sunday, they sing the words of the hymn as they break the bread.  I don't know why, but I just love that, and I watch them every week to see if they are doing it.  They are both very musically inclined and know quite a few hymns by heart.  It just feeds my spirit.

I don't love 1:00 church.  I do love 9:00 church.  Almost done with one month of 1:00 church.  Yahoo! 

And that's it for me.

Some thoughts for Sunday

*A major coup today in Primary! The issue in my class was so good today!  Listened, participated appropriately, positive! Oh, what a sight to behold!  Yea for both of us!

*Terry and I went to the temple yesterday with Lilly's friend, Cameron.  He is getting ready to go on a mission.  I love the temple.  The quiet peace that comes from being there is so comforting.  I wish that I could go every week.  I envy those that live close enough to do that.

*Here's a nice little tidbit that we got today.  The stake presidency was visiting and one of the members said that he enjoyed Lilly so much.  He told us that he was impressed with her talk at Stake Conference, but when she bore her testimony at Youth Conference yesterday, he was blown away.  How nice is that to hear?  He said some other things, but seeing as how she reads this blog, and his son does also, I won't embarrass either one by recounting it.  I would like to say that it is all my doing that she has such a great testimony, but I would totally being lying and I've promised to be truthful.  She has always been this way, and got here pretty much on her own.  She has been blessed with lots of talents but certain one of her greatest is her ability to share her love for the gospel.  Parent payday!

*I've been thinking a lot lately about the temple and the temple ceremony.  I've been thinking about how what we *do* there isn't as important as how we *feel* about it.  The sacredness of the ceremony belongs to how we feel about it.  And because I feel like it is extremely sacred, I won't be saying anymore.  Thank goodness it is in my life.

*Thank goodness Heavenly Father loves each and every one of us.  Thank goodness He knows are needs.  Thank goodness He has given us a prophet to give us direction in these troubled times.  Thank goodness He will also give us personal revelation to give us comfort.  Thank goodness.

*I have been missing my daily scripture studying. *gasp*  I know!  Can you believe that I'm admitting it to all of bloggity land?!  But it's true and so I've committed starting today(!!) to reading every day again, and finishing the Book of Mormon by my birthday in June.  I would say, wish me luck, but no luck is needed.  I've just got to decided that it is the priority now.  I've decided.

*So here's a random tidbit.  Did you know that you will weigh less after you shower and do your hair?  It's true!  I've tried it and it works.  I'm always about a half pound less after I shower.  I guess all that dirt I'm rolling in is heavy.  (Hee hee!)

Jealousy

I have tried all my life to be an obedient person.  When I was young, I did it because I was afraid I would get in trouble, and you didn't want to make my father mad.  As I got older, I did it because I wanted to be liked by others, and the nice people were popular then.  Then, I finally learned that being obedient makes ME happy, and that I wanted to show my Heavenly Father that I loved Him and am grateful to Him for all he gave me.  So I obeyed the rules.

Yesterday, in my lesson in Sunday School, we talked about the parable of the lost sheep and the prodigal son (Luke 15).  The lesson discusses the impact of finding the "one" and bringing him back to our Heavenly Father.  I just want you all to know, that I have always been the elder son in the prodigal son story, and I wondered why we killed the fatted calf for the one that was naughty.  But yesterday, I understood, for the first time, why we do that. 

Now, I know that we should welcome those back into the fold, and I know that we should be happy and friendly to them, but I also always thought that they got more acknowledgement for coming back then those that stayed the course, and were doing right anyway.  But when I read the story yesterday, it hit me, that this father thought his son was dead(!), and here he was, in front of him again, coming down the road to his family.  Of course, he would fall on him and kiss his neck!  Of course, he would throw a huge feast for him!  His son was alive!  And home!  This is what our Heavenly Father feels.

I love the scripture that the father says to the elder son "Son, thou art ever with me, and all that I have is thine."  He reassures the son that he loves him, and he will have his rewards for being faithful, and doing the work.  But for that time, they will make merry for the son who is back from the dead, who was lost, and is found.  Our Heavenly Father feels like that, every time one of his children comes back to his gospel.  He is so excited that one is back on the track of coming Home to Him.   It doesn't mean that he loves us who are not lost less, it means that he is ecstatic to have the one back.  His love knows no bounds, he loves us all equally.

I realized in this reading that I was feeling jealous.  Oh, Satan is cunning, isn't he?  As soon as I could put a name on the emotion, I realized who it was coming from.  Jealousy is another of those dark emotions that doesn't come from our Heavenly Father.  I think I can safely say now, that I am no longer the elder brother, but not the younger either.  I'm just me.  Working to become a better person. 

The Adversary

Today, in our Relief Society class, we talked about the adversary, and how we can outwit him.  We started our lesson watching a little of the Planet Earth show, the one where the lions take down the elephant. 

By the way, I love that show. 

Ahem.  Back on topic.

The lionesses, no matter how strong they are, cannot overtake the elephants when they are in a pack together and stay together to protect each other, and protect their young.  Only when one elephant goes out on it's own, were the lions able to work together to bring him down.

We, my friends, are the elephants.  Satan, and all that goes with that, are the lionesses.  There is even a scripture that goes with that, 1 Peter 5:8.  The roaring lion walketh about, seeking whom he may devour.  We need to stick together, pull people in, make sure the weak, the young, the infirm, the old, are encircled in our care.  We take turns being the strong, and fighting off the advances of the lions.  We heed the warnings of the experienced, and turn away from the temptation of thinking that we are strong enough to do this on our own. 

In our lesson, we talked about what are the ways that Satan uses to draw us away from Christ.  Well, for me, he uses all dark emotions.  I don't have a problem with stealing, or immorality, or drugs and alcohol.  What is hard for me is anger, depression, fear; the dark emotions.  I tend to feel that I just don't measure up, and that nothing I do is ever going to allow me to measure up.  That is a dark emotion.  I tend to get angry at the injustices of the world.  I get angry with the hate and prejudices that face us every day.  I don't understand how bad people are allowed to flourish, while good people have to walk in pain every day.  That is a dark emotion.  Satan is so subtle.  He is so sly, and cunning.  He has perfected his craft, and he is unafraid of using it.  He will do whatever is necessary to make us miserable, like he is himself.

But.

I have decided this year that I will make the choice.  I will make the choice to be happy, come what may.  I have often told my children, that all dark emotions are from Satan and we have to consider that when we allow them to rule our lives.  Don't allow him that control!  Don't allow him to use those simplest of tools to gain your emotions!  Make the choice to be happy!  Make the choice to put bad feelings behind you!  It sounds so simple, and yet always, the doubts creep in.

Well, I've marked that scripture, and I'm watching out for the lions.  I'm keeping track of my pack of elephants, and I'm not letting them out of my sight.  I'm staying happy.  I'm taking back control.  And it's about time!

I think I've said it all.

I think you know all about my Sundays.  I think I've talked about it all.  I talked about how we don't play with friends, watch tv, or be on the computer.  I talked about how we have FHE on Sundays because it is the only day we are all home at a decent hour.  I talked about how we go to my parents house about every other week.  I talked about how I'm the Sunday School teacher.  I really don't know what else to say about Sundays except that they are my favorite day of the week.  My Sabbath Meandering for today:

Day Eighteen

Quiet time

I teach Sunday School in my church to 15-16 year olds.  We are learning about the Old Testament.  It is very daunting.  I struggle every week with how to make this something more than dead scripture to these kids, that have so much on their plates already!  I'm so appreciative of this calling.  I have had to study, and study again these scriptures so that I can at least know the stories well enough to tell them.  I feel such peace and comfort when I spend that time with my Heavenly Father, reading the words that He has preserved for me.  That is what I love about Sundays, that I can focus all my energy on coming closer to Him. 

My Sabbath meandering for today.

It is day eleven.

Sunday at Grandma's

I talked about our normal Sunday routine here, but one of the things that I didn't mention is that we go see my parents, about every other week.  My parents live out in the country about 30 miles away.  They still live in the house that I grew up in.  We moved there when I was almost eight and I'm...well, old.  Suffice to say that my parents have lived there long enough that they have paid off the thirty year mortgage.  I love to go back to my old home.  I have lived on my own as long as I was at home, but I still get that overwhelming feeling of comfort when I walk in the back door of my parents home.  I decided early that I wanted my children to have a good relationship with their grandparents.  I have good memories of the times I spent in my grandparents home, and I was hoping that they would too.  So we started making the effort to drive there on Sundays because that is the only day that everyone is home.  The kids will sit and talk to grandpa or grandma, and then they start in on the treats.  My parents have all different kinds of treats; fruit snacks, puddings, candies, popsicles, ice cream.  It has taken me a long time to loosen up on how many treats my kids eat at grandma's house.  But that is something that makes my parents happy, to see the kids get treats.  Isn't that the way it always is?  We, as their children, did not get that many treats.  The joy of grandparenting.  I also love to go because I get to visit with my parents and still get their wisdom on how to raise all these kids.  They did a pretty good job if I do say so myself.  This is day number four.

The folks with all the kids.

Day Seven: Sundays

Sunday, August 20

Sundays in our family is all about going to church, and being together as a family.  We don't play with friends, we don't get on our phones, we don't watch tv, we don't watch movies, we don't get on our computers.  We just be together as a family.  It isn't always easy and I have to remind my children often that we love each other and like to be together.  And mostly we do.  We have a time called Family Home Evening.  We have a spiritual thought, read some scriptures, have an activity and eat some treats.  We have had some great times, times where we laugh and laugh, and times where we learn to be more tolerant of each other.  We love to play games.  We play Life, Payday, Dominoes, Pounce, Yahtzee, and our new favorite, Disney Scene It.  All the kids love to play that one, and Tess has actually gotten the answer a time or two, beating out the rest of us.  It is a lot of fun.  Here is one of my favorite sayings to end my Sabbath Day post:

To be happy, don't do whatever you like, like whatever you do.